Do I Look Like an Agony Aunt?

Watching the Doshu of Aikido work his magic

I'm not sure what it is about some folks, they seem to think that because they want to talk to me, I want to talk to them. They also seem to think that because they want to know something, I want to tell them, because they have a question to ask, I am some how duty bound to give them an answer!

I get a lot of emails from people searching for something they say is "missing" in their karate. Perfect strangers who feel it's quite ok to write to me out of the blue and expect me to spend my time writing back to them. In today's world of instant gratification, I'm expected to fall into line with the expectations of people I don't even know....well it ain't going to happen!

In Joe Hyams excellent little book, Zen and the Martial Arts, in the chapter called, Do Not Disturb, he relates a great story about a conversation between his friend and teacher, the late Bruce Lee, and Stirling Silliphant, one of America's leading sceenwriters at the time. In the story, Lee speaks of the difference between 'spending time' and 'wasting time'; pointing out that once time has passed, it's gone forever. Silliphant agreed with his sifu, and after some thought, took the conversation further.

"It (time) is the most precious commodity we have" he said, "anyone who steals my time is stealing my life because they are taking my existence from me. As I get older, I realize time is the only thing I've got left." He went on to say..."I apply the same yardstick to social relations. I will not permit people to steal my time...the choice of how I spend my time is mine, and it is not dictated by social convention." Just then Lee asks if he can use the author's phone, when he returns he said, "I just cancelled an appointment, it was with someone who wanted to waste my time, not help me spend it."

Eiichi Miyazato sensei did not encourage me to ask questions, so, if I was silly enough to ask him one, I was as likely to be grunted at and told to "Just do it!" as given an answer. Doing it, referred to training, practise, working my problems out for my self. He didn't want to give me an answer, his answer, he wanted me to grow up so I could discover my own answers. While I realize this approach does not sit well with the drip-fed generation of karate-ka who expect to "get" something for their money, I could care less for their aspirations...go bother someone else!